St Helen's Church


St Michael's Church

St Michael's-on-Wyre

Church Wardens Ramblings

St Helens Home

September 2020


May we open this month’s Ramblings with a sincere and heartfelt expression of sorrow to our Friends at our Sister Church of St Michaels on Wyre following the architectural theft of paving stones from their Church pathways.

Even more shocking was the theft of an ancient gravestone from the Churchyard.


We know first hand here at St Helens the distress and inconvenience that this will cause, let us hope a solution to the immediate problem will soon be found and that the thieves will soon be apprehended to face justice.



Now let’s ramble, well we would if we could. Sadly holiday plans for 50 % of the writers of this column have been slung into disarray by Covid 19.

The cultural tour of Mexican beaches, bars and hotel swimming pools are laid on ice. Passports put back in safes and Bank Accounts credited (hooray) with refunds.

Still when one considers the difficulties Covid has caused some families let us count our blessings if this is the entire toll this pandemic places on us.


Now did I say passports? it is a curiosity that all Passports issued in the UK have on the inside cover the term addressed to all Immigration Officers of every country in the world  that they must all

“ ....allow the bearer to pass freely without let or hindrance” .

Taken literally this I suggest ,makes the Passport irrelevant and unnecessary .As a British Citizen,  I ( and you) therefore have the right to go where we wishes any time.

If any reader has any experience of trying this ploy with The United States Homeland Security people perhaps they could send a postcard from jail to us and let us know the term of their imprisonment!!


This leads on to a further thought ramble. Did  I say British Citizen a moment ago?

Well try this. Hands up now, all of you who are British Citizens. Pay attention at the back please. Thank you. Now hands down.

Sadly I have to say you are all wrong, none of you in fact are.

Let’s get the easy one out of the way first.

Citizen? Nope. None of us.

The French are, well since 1789 they are, indeed that rousing anthem La  Marseillaise proclaims not only that ,but that they should fight to be so.


         “ Aux armies citoyens

          Formez vos bataillons”


But us ,well we are Subjects  of our reigning Monarch and incidentally by a vast majority quite happy to be considered as such.


Well ok you may say but we are British ....aren’t we?


Well er no, none of us are.


Britain or rather Great Britain if we are being absolutely correct is the name of an island not a country.

Contained within this island are in fact three countries. England, Scotland and Wales. These three together with Northern Ireland make up our Nation of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

So there we have it, you are English, Scottish, Welsh or Irish, sorry not British.


Now, you may not be too happy with that and feel like appealing, so let’s examine the British Constitution and see what that says.


Well there isn’t one, not in written form anyway. That’s an American thing.


Well let’s go to British Law and Courts then .No and no again they do not exist.

We have English Law and English Courts and my head is now beginning to ache yours is too.


A word of warning please. If a foreign Immigration Officer describes you as British, go with the flow, do not attempt to contradict. This is particularly so when dealing with US Homeland Security otherwise I may be getting two postcards shortly and not just the one.


This month’s question.   The British Isles.       Great Britain is the most populous of the islands. The island of Ireland is second most populated.


What is the third?


Answers on a .....well you are probably ahead of me on that one....!


Stay safe, go easy and if you are able to do so in these times, see you in Church.